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Stupid Human Tricks

  • Thread starter PlantAKiss
  • Start date

PlantAKiss

Moderator Schmoderator Fluorescent fluorite, Engl
I was just having a conversation with one of our Forumites about stupid accidents we've had. So I was wondering...what kind of accidents have other folks which were kinda...well...stupid?

When I was in high school, a group of us went on a trip to Natural Bridge, VA. Also at Natural Bridge was a small cave called the Saltpeter Cave (and lets not discuss the side effects of saltpeter...). Anyhoo...we all decided to go into the cave. The entrance was kinda low so we hunched down and all got in. You could stand up in there once you got in. We started walking down a little slope...it was very dark...pitch dark actually (as caves tend to be). So somebody held up a cigarette lighter so we could see. And see we did...a whole bunch of BATS. So half out of fright and half out of silliness, we all turned and ran back to the entrance of the cave. Sooo...I was running...and the next thing I know...BAMMMM! I'm knocked backwards and end up flat on my back on the cave floor...my face was totally numb. I had no idea what happened at first (knocked silly!)...but apparently I didn't realize I was at the entrance...where, if you remember, you had to DUCK to get in...
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I didn't duck...and hit the cave wall full tilt. I was bleeding...I had a big gash on my forehead and a lot of cuts around my eye. They had to take me to the main office and get me cleaned up. I wonder now if they closed the Saltpeter caves to the public after that....hehe

Now Ozzy...I know you could fill this topic up but I think you can only have 99 pages or something so....just give us the best ones.
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I was on a little canoe trip as a kid, and we stopped by a pretty steep hill for a break. I decided to see if I could get to the top of the hill, which I did. Getting back down ended up being a little trickier.

I was just crouched down taking slow, precise steps, when I tripped. To catch myself I took a giant step forward, which really just added momentum to the fall. I caught myself with another step, and then another, and pretty soon I was running full speed down the hill literally unable to stop and scared out of my mind.

I yelled down for help as I was running and people just naturally looked at me with confusion ("What, is there something chasing him?").

Finally I decided to just take a dive. It hurt. A lot.

Probably looked pretty funny though.
 
well..when i was younger..like 5-6 or something..i was "bucked" off a stick horse as my mom puts it..in other words..i tripped and i had to get stitches in my lip.

and..i fell of one of our farmhands..i was climbing on the arm things..and i slipped and hit my head on the lower bar..i had to get stitched in the back of my head..lol

and well i have many more..but this one caused me the most pain and suffering..

ok..imagine me.. 5 years old on my bike..my older brother is riding his bike down our driveway for a stretch and ramping over our "sand pile" that had a 3-4 foot drop off on the back side..well he talked me into going over it...and i did..jsut fine..but with my smaller bike i landed on my front tire and the wheel turned jabbing my right side..i cried i will admit. the next day i woke up and i could hardly move i was in the most pain i ever had been in. my mom rushes my to the er and i have a almost rupshered or rupshered apendix from the handle bar hitting my side... o did i mention my brother said.."u wont get hurt"

lol

thanks

Brad
 
lol...OK...I'm feeling a little better now...  
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BTW...EndP's story reminds me of a video clip I saw not too long ago being passed around via email. It was an old movie of a little kid about 5 yrs old at a swimming pool. He had on one of those inflatable tubes that fit around your waist and a face mask. He was standing a-ways back from the pool...he took off running towards the pool...and gave a BIIIIG jump...only he hadn't gotten quiiiiiite to the pool yet. Soo... he went SPLAT on the cement decking.
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It was hilarious! I'll bet that kid's family STILL teases him about it.
 
i still need to recal some of mine but i have one from my dad...ahem ok when my dad was a sophmor in HS he and his friend went to a steep hill they called "devils backbone". anywho his friend dared my dad to go down this hill on his bike. being the macho man my dad was he went down and got down safely but his friend went down on his bike and he fell forward and the fender on his front wheel went under his kneecap and popped it off
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and it flew 6 feet away(so my dad said) the ambulance came and all they did post-leaving was plopped his kneecap back on and took him away. i saw his friend and he has a HUGE limp...HOW STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Man!  The kneecap thing is gross!

Ok, I could fill pages just with my fishing injury stories.  Here's a few.  They're in chronologic order!

1) Moved into new house near good bass stream.  I got a snag and decided the best course of action.  Yup, take off my shoes, wade in and get the biggest flippin hook jammed into my foot.

2) I learned not to wade in to release snags.  I cast my line and snagged in a tree.  Ok, I'm not so dumb to climb the tree and risk falling.  So, I pull hard--owww, hook in eyebrow!

3) The area with a dam is a good spot.  The dam has a giant sign that says: "CAUTION!  DO NOT ENTER DAM AREA.  HIGH RISK OF FALLING AND SEVERE HEAD INJURIES"  But I'm careful.  Slip, fall CONCUSION!! Trip to ER. Pride hurt more than brain...

4) I learned real good from 1, 2 and 3.  I go on a Black Friday when it's unbelievably warm here (usually cold in Pennsylvania).  I'm feelin good.  Even have shorts on.  I come home and proudly tell the wife no injuries, many fish caught.  She smiles.  Three days later, I'm in a local hospital.  A deer tick was lodged in the back of my knee--bulls eye rash, antibiotics for 28 days and lyme disease most likely.
 
I'm getting ready to leave for a week, so I don't have time to tell any stories. Some of the biggest "Opps" I've had was I shot myself in the chest with a 9mm, wrecked a train, caused an explosion in a Walmart store, and fell through a celing of a resturant while people was eating below me. Can anybody top that?
 
My dad had a mini-machine shop in our basement and he had an electrical sander with stone wheels. I accidently flipped the toggle switch and that got it running. Panicking, I tried to stop it with my hand. That didn't exactly work. It took out a good piece of flesh!

Here's an experiment that you really don't want to try: I took a raw egg and tried microwaving it. After about 10 seconds, it made a squeaky sound and then promptly exploded all over the microwave.

Also, if you happen to find a piece of wire that is bare on both ends - don't insert those ends into an outlet! Ever see Back To The Future? It had kinda the same effect as Doc Brown trying to connect the Bell Tower to the overhead wires - lotsa sparks.
 
LAYDEES AND GENNELMIN!!!!! FOR MY NEXT SUPID HUMAN TRICK, I WILL STAND HERE ON THE JOB TO AWAIT BEING HIT IN THE FACE BY A 2400 PAIR TELEPHONE CABLE! I PLANNED THIS SO THAT I COULD LOOSE A FEW OF MY TEETH!!!!!

OW! The plan worked! Tune in for further developments! Film at 11!!!!!
 
  • #10
When I was 4 and had just moved to Atlanta from Cleveland, I remember going to the Chattahoochee nature center and while there, seeing a large, reddish 3 ft wide 2 ft tall mound next to a trail. Naturally, I decided to investigate and sat in it. seconds later, 1000's of angry insects stormed into by pants and proceeded to chomp my hindquarters.

My first experience with "fire ants".....
 
  • #11
OMIGAWD!!!!! Hope it was your last experience!!!! Talk about PAIN!!!!!!!
 
  • #12
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Here's an experiment that you really don't want to try: I took a raw egg and tried microwaving it. After about 10 seconds, it made a squeaky sound and then promptly exploded all over the microwave.

Also, if you happen to find a piece of wire that is bare on both ends - don't insert those ends into an outlet! Ever see Back To The Future? It had kinda the same effect as Doc Brown trying to connect the Bell Tower to the overhead wires - lotsa sparks.

Nah, both of those are fun, if you do it right.

1. The egg in the microwave, I did as a cool party trick, at someone elses house. Was a neat experiment when yer not the one cleaning it up.

2. I never tried a single piece of wire, but I cut the cord off an old lampstripped 3 inches of wire on both sides. Took it to school, waited for the teacher to leave the room, plugged it in, touched both ends together being careful to hold onto the plastic part still, tons of sparks, melted all the wire I stripped plus 2 inches of the still insulated plastic, blew the circut breaker for the entire school, the power was out at school for almost an hour. And the greatest part is I never got in trouble.
 
  • #13
Two of my dumbest that come to mind right off are

1) When I was a kid I found a fish hook on a length of string. My brother and I got to goofing around (Great White Fishermen that we were
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!) and I somehow managed to get the hook throgh my earlobe. Very embarasing not just 'cause I knew I shouldn't have been messing around with a sharp pointy object, but only girls got their ears pierced ('member this was a lonnnnggg time ago). The second one was aslo way back when. I found this can of spray paint. I think it was a blue-green sorta color. Being curious (and a tad greedy), I decided I was going to get that marble out of it. Just thinking of the bragging rights on where I got my marble (Maybe I should blame this on my brother. He was the one I was going to one up.) had me smirking.
Banging on it with a rock was getting no where fast, so I tried a hammer. That wasn't fast enough either. Then I found the hatchet
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. I cautiously gave the can a couple of whacks with the hatchet and succeeded in sending it flying across the ground but was still unable to get a hole in it to get my marble out. Having gotten somewhat overconfident in my ability to aviod injuries thus far I dropped my guard a tad (I'd abandoned commen sence from the start), and gave the can the biggest whack I could. POW! I had just enough time to close my eyes before my face became the pretties blue-green color. To add insult to injury, my brother got the marble while my mom was chewing me out for my stupidity and cleaning the paint off my face.
 
  • #14
I tend to hurt the people around me more then myself..

Here is a tip. If you are roasting marshmallows and it starts on fire, shaking the stick doesn't put it out, it sends a flaming marshmallow flying.

A tip to go with that one. If your jacka** of a friend (me) tries to put out a flaming marshmallow by shaking the stick. And a flaming marshmallow lands on your face, slapping it to your face only spreads the area that gets burned.
Quickly picking it off would be a better option.
 
  • #15
Flaming marshmallows....oh man I remember those. All I can remember is my marshy catching on fire and then me swinging it and my friend running around like a chicken with its head cut off!

Another good one is what my friend did. His father hired a contractor to do some electrical work. The contractor told my friend to go downstairs and flip the circuit breaker when he TOLD him to
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Well my friend yells back "You mean THIS one?" Click click and all we heard was "Yaaaaa!!!"
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  • #16
speaking of fire ants!! my grandpa lives on an island in FL called St George island where the place is basically ruled by fireants! i was 10 and in my know it all about bugs phase so i found a hill and started to poke it*poke**poke* then swarms of ants started to come out i stayed away but the second entrance to the hole was right next to me and i didnt see it. i had like 5 stings at once and then i lost my balence because i tripped on a plant(wow how ironic) and i fell on ANOTHER hole and the ants got all over me!! we couldnt get them off once i was free and it was soo bad i had to go to the hospital!!!
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(but i wanst allergic...yay!) the doctor treated me and he said i had approximatly 100-200 stings on my feet alone!?!?! i was off my feet the rest of springbreak (
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) and now i know not to poke fire ant holes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok done
 
  • #17
More Fun with Fire Ants!!!

One summer when I was about nine I stuck my arm into a hollow log....

I don't need to explain the rest..
 
  • #18
I was getting ready to leave school when I was five or six and I had just finished putting my chair up on the desks so that the janitorial staff could clean the floors. I had a denim jacket at the time with big buttons on the cuffs. Well, the button on my cuff snagged the leg assembly of one of the chairs and brought the whole stack down on my head. These were those heavy school chairs where the back and seat are made out of some sort of thick lineoleum or vynil that is bulky and hard as rock, so even though it was made with rounded edges, when one hit my head it cut straight in. In the time it took me to realize I had hit my head and look down, there was a shoulder-wide puddle of blood at my feet. Gave the teachers a scare that day!
I've dislocated my knee cap several times before (in both knees, as a matter of fact,) but the most dramatic by far was when I was playing a game of pickup football on muddy grass. I hadn't played any field sports regularly in years, so I wasn't accustomed to playing on a slippery, wet field. Anyways, I was hauling down the field trying to get open to for a pass when somebody called my name. I turned to look but continued to run. Just a step later I hit a patch of mud; as my right foot came down, it sank about six inches and slid forward, locking my knee straight. When my body caught up with my foot, I launched right over my leg and twisted the knee cap off. My friends say I did a flying somersault and cleared about three or four feet before hitting the ground and screaming bloody murder.
Happy times!
~Joe

PS - I remember another time I busted the same knee; I was filming a project for my video production class in high school, and we were doing a chase scene on foot. I was supposed to be the guy chasing the other guy and my friend (the chasee) decided to make an abrupt right-angle turn on wet grass. You can figure out the rest, but the memorable part of that story is that there's a video tape floating around somewhere of me on the ground clutching my leg and screaming, "Oh God my knee is busted, guys I'm not kidding," plus a few other choice words.
 
  • #19
Looks like we're having a party here! Anywho, not long ago, I had seen my friends ride their bikes, and then quickly put on the brakes so they made this long, dark streak in the middle of the road/driveway/sidewalk. So, when I was riding my bike one day, coming back from a little ride, I was in my driveway and quickly braked. But, it seems I did it a bit too late, and crashed into the garage door. I was ok, and so was my bike, but there was a large dent in the garage door. So, I went inside the garage, and tried to push out the dent, though it didn't really work and my parents asked me why there was a dent in the garage. So, I replied, very embarrassed, "I wanted to make a streak in the driveway." And, I think I did.
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But now, I think we got new replaced garage doors.

-Ben
 
  • #20
my freind going full speed down a hill tryed to have the same stop effect and hit the front brake instead of the back break. he did a flip and a half, broke his elbow, and grinded off parts of the bike. It was pretty cool, but i'm just glad he didn't land on his head.
 
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