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"Funny Signs"

jimscott

Tropical Fish Enthusiast
Joined
Nov 14, 2003
Messages
18,810
Location
Western New York
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
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At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
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On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
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On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
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On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
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At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
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At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
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In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

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At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
 
Joined
May 4, 2003
Messages
3,077
Location
San Francisco, CA
Speaking of funny signs, here's one I took right after a recent trip. I don't know why it made me crack up, but the whole thing baffled me. This was in the airport! My favorite part is where it says "This Changes Everything." WTF?
Funnysign.jpg

Capslock
 

Est

War. War never changes.
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Apr 18, 2004
Messages
4,169
Location
Pasadena, CA
lol! Caps, that's brilliant! Changes everything! ... now if only we could figure out exactly how it has changed everything ... or what in the heck they're telling us... But that's of MINOR importance considering the fact that it's changing everything!!
 

glider14

Always a newbie
Joined
Oct 30, 2005
Messages
3,956
Location
Louisville, Kentucky
here are some of mine i got from a friend:
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER......
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN


In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
 
Joined
Dec 25, 2004
Messages
627
Location
New Haven, CT
there was a funeral home in Columbus, Ohio that had a big clock on the sign in front of their office.

always cracked me up.
 

PlantAKiss

Moderator Schmoderator Fluorescent fluorite, Engl
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
10,335
Location
Richmond, Virginia/Zone 7
lol Those are good ones! A big clock for a funeral home is a good one too!
laugh.gif


I got a laugh out of a truck that was driving in front me last week. And the same truck was in front of me this morning. There is a bumper sticker on the back that says "Hooked on Quack". It made me think of Travis (not Pyro) since he's such a hunter. I like ducks so I liked the bumper sticker even though I'm not too keen on hunting. He had another bumper sticker that says something like "I'm not speeding, I'm driving in formation." Some'pin' like that.
 
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