Am I over reacting?

[nepenthes_ak]

Ok so my EX and I are trying to put what happened in the past, and get back together... or should I say I am. Cause we had been dating for a year and 9 months got into a fight broke up, and now im trying to get back with her, she says she still likes me and I still like her... but she says we didn't have a friendship, and no foundation. (a year and 9 months? hows that no friendship?). Any ways I'm supposed to stick it out 6 months while she figures out if I still Really care. So.

So today I go to Macdonald to get some food, So I could stop in and say hi, I saw she was working the drive through, first she talks all like w/e I don't care, then I hear her talk to the next person all perky and happy. So I go up and pay, then I remeber how she always says they spit in peoples food, So I told her to tell them NOT to spit in my food, then shes like haha my ex is hear make that Last order with extra "love"

So I'm like WTH? don't do that thats not cool, cause they will do it... so she just starts laughing along with her friend, and they think its hilarious so I started honking my horn! Like WTH don't give me spit in food. Cause I KNOW they would do it... so when I pull up to the second window to pick up my food they are crowded around talking and My ex is all like OK they didn't spit in it but are mad off now cause you honked you're horn allot.

Did I over react? Am I stupid for waiting so long, I mean I really care about her I didn't just waste a year and 9 months over an argument... cause I wasn't happy.

*grrr girls*

 

[Clint]

Just forget her dude.

Have you not seen Supersize Me?

 

[nepenthes_ak]

yea I've seen it but the big mac sauce! (not like its every day)

*drool*

 

[seedjar]

I don't know that you're overreacting... it sounds to me like you're being manipulated, personally. But not knowing you nor your ex personally, I can't really say.
You did kind of start this latest thing. There's no better way to get a food prep worker to spit in your food than to ask them not to spit in your food - it's pretty provocational to suggest that they're already planning to do so. And honking couldn't have made things any better - this is where these people work, after all.
Sounds to me like you need to get some distance from this girl. Take some time, get a little perspective, feel her out. If she really cares about you and your relationship means something to her, then she shouldn't have a problem taking a break and patching things up. You may even consider seeing other people on a casual basis until you're closer with one another (and by you, I mean both you and your ex.)
~Joe

 

[nepenthes_ak]

She doesn't cook the food, she was taking orders, but she knows I would have gotten upset.

Some more past history is this. When we got into a fight it felt like she was ignoring me this one night, she was their all over me but she wouldn't talk to me. So I decide to just leave let her go hang out with her friends instead of just sitting their cause I like to have a conversation.

So I go to another table where I see some friends, (by the way this is a dance so this puts some things into perspective) Sit down start talking casually she comes over and upset wondering why I "ditched her" even though I told her I was gonna go over to the other table and talk to some friends.

so that was the beginning of the break up fight. She then assumed I was gonna go drink and get high (one of the larger past arguments we had had 2-3 times before, and I had agreed not too), and she started getting upset and was assuming i was just gonna ditcher her for my stoner buddy's. So I told her I wasn't to calm her down, and I really wasn't going to. Then the next day shes all asking tons of questions about the future where we will be, if we would get married, and I was like, ok I don't want to think about that and disappoint my self in the future if that doesn't happen. she took this the wrong way, and then the next day she gets all worried asked if I still loved her and cared about her, I still did I just had had enough it had been a long weekend (I didn't want to pay for the dance and she talked me into it any ways) So I was kinda just stressed out. So I was like I don't care right now, i don't know I just need to think. Cause I had felt trapped and Just kinda w/e about every thing for the past week and this hadn't been helping, and I didn't want to leave I just needed to relax, and It just didn't get to happen.

but before we would always argue over little things, and make up and things would be ok for a few weeks, so thats a common thing its not like we were yelling and screaming.

I had made a post before asking if this is the way it should be If I should feel depressed some times even if I was with the girl of my dreams.

I still care about her But its just hard to care when I have to try so hard not to even act like we ever dated and am just a friend.

oh yea we had broke up for about a month and a half ago, and in this time frame I dated a girl for 3 week's she dated 1 but fooled around with a bunch. she thinks I ditched her for this little fling.

not only did she start partying the thing I wasnt aloud to do while we were dating and she said she wouldnt ever do, she started doing, she went drinking and it just p**** the hell out of me.

 

[herenorthere]

The fact is that you'll never be happy again if the two of you don't pledge your undying love for each other and commit to never even look at anyone else ever again. Actually, the answer is that the two of you both need to move on and fast. Don't look back, at least not for a while. By the way, it's so much easier to deal with this situation when it's happening to others.

 

[nepenthes_ak]

Maybe you're right. I just still need to think this out some talk to some close friends about it.

She just called and acted like it wasn't a big deal and then shes being short. I need to talk to her when we have more time later.

 

[JRFxtreme]

You need to drop her like a bad habit.

Sorry to sound so blunt but it all seems too familiar.  She doesn't know what she wants and shes just playing with you.

Well, thats my opinion anyway.

 

[brisco225]

yes

 

[endparenthesis]

Picture what you think real love feels like. Conjure up all the emotions and imagery you can around it. Don't base it on previous experience, but on what you always hoped you could have.

Contrast that with what you have now. Try to list out all the ways it differs. You might be surprised by just how long the list gets.

All the answers are in your posts. Feeling the need to write them at all says volumes. Treat those posts like a mirror.

Being in love is like being on fire. If you have to ask whether you are or not... you're probably not.

 

[JMurphy97]

Do like me and join the Marines. That will get you away. My lady came back but still I'm going in Febuary.

 

[Joseph Clemens]

2 cents:
Consider if something happened and you could never see your EX again. Could you deal with that? If so, you've already moved on. If not, you should probably work a little harder to move on.

-----

Basic bottom line --- life is too short to spend it with the wrong person.

 

[xvart]

Quote[/b] (endparenthesis @ Nov. 20 2006,9:49)]Being in love is like being on fire. If you have to ask whether you are or not... you're probably not.

Very good analogy. I really like that. I would just add support to the "move-on" cause. It seems to me that she has set double standard expectations on you which she does not want to follow herself (the partying thing) which is unfair to you and the relationship. Being in a relationship is about being on a team.

The problem in relationships is that by virtue of the relationship each person will inevitably hold the other back. The two of you will never be as good or as strong as if you were not committed to each other; but, that is also the beauty of it. It is most important to find the person you don't mind sacrificing for in return for them sacrificing for you.

Additionally, it took me until my last girlfriend before I got married to realize this, but I finally figured out how easy it was to break up with the wrong girl. All through high school and college I was worrying about feelings and "it's not you, it's me" and blah blah blah... If she isn't "the One" then all you have to say is that "she is not the one for you and you are not the one for her." It's as easy as that and it will make the aftermath so much easier to deal with if you don't have the expectations that you and your soon-to-be ex-significant other aren't trying to stabilize the friend aspect of your relationship for post-breakup.

I dated a girl in high school and we were so in love. However, at that time we were not mature enough or individualized enough to handle how intense that relationship was. We had the most horrible breakup and did not talk, think, or look at each other for three years. However, after that time, we finally started to learn about ourselves and who we were as individuals and started talking again and became true friends (or pals). Two years later we got married. My point is, you maybe with "the One" but it may not be the time. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be; but, that doesn't mean it's meant to be now.

Good luck to you and just remember that you are young.

xvart.

 

[schloaty]

Hey Nep AK.....How old are you? This will factor into my recommendations....

 

[nepenthes_ak]

Im a Jr. In highschool.

Thanks for all the advice. We talked about it and it made sence. Its my fault and I think im going to try waiting, you guys might think that im being stupid, and think that I should move on, I cant move on from some one like this, this girl pulled me out of the gutter, I was cutting my self, drinking hard core, doing drugs.

Its not manipulative, its because I screwed up when I told her I wasnt sure if I loved her, and I cared about her, and when we broke up I was mad at her but I still had feelings for her, and their were times when i couldnt balance it out and i would be upset with her 1 day and sorry the next, and that just made things worse.

This is what I need to do.

 

[nepenthes_ak]

Ignore this post