*sigh*

[nepenthes_ak]

OK, Serious question/statement/what the hell

How does one waste half of his highschool? Stoned, not knowing where he is, And then with a goody girl, for the next year and a half. Im so freakin confused! Cause I thought I new what I was doing, not wasiting my time, but Now I feel like...

I dont know, I've wasted the past 2 years. I used to be so freaking excited about life, and people and meeting them. So full of artistic energy, just ready to take on the world. Was I stupid 14 year old? Was I just being blinded by something that has no real meaning?

Does some one waste their 1 year of their life with some one for a reason? Is thier probably some underlieing cause of why I just waste my time with this girl, who I love... but dont really know, how to love her... how to know her, or really know If I lover her. I mean all we really ever do is fight, and argue... but then theirs times when we dont, and its amazing! But Its every day... argue argue argue... then its like... I dont know

I just am freaking lost! I dont know what to spend my cash on... im saving it for nothing... I mean... how do I do this? How do I waste the past 2 years of my life?! Did I just waste youre time being a stupid teenager?

Desperatly Seeking Some awnsers to this perplexion, Or just some advice...

 

[CopcarFC]

I went through the same thing in highschool. Exept I never got into drugs (I hate losing control). I spent a few years with a chick I met there and everything rocked, I never thought I could "click" with someone so well. Until we got into fights. Thats when I started questioning things like you.

Looking back on it now I think of it all as a d*mn good class on relationships and life in general. Thats why I don't think it was all for nothing. I was with her on-and-off for 3 years and here we are 4 years later and I think I'm a much better man.

 

[Est]

--Edit-- Criminey this ended up being long... Sorry about that!

At least it gives you something to do.

Quote[/b] ] Was I stupid 14 year old? Was I just being blinded by something that has no real meaning?

No. It's just that now you're a stupid 16 year old, blinded by the beauty that is the teenage years.

Seriously, it's the common teenage dilemma, don't worry. I remember there being points where I would simply wonder "what the hell am I DOING? What on Earth is my POINT?" And I suppose looking back it may not have been an unfair question, it's something that's always good to ask yourself.

HOWEVER- you don't need to be in any rush. I use to always hate it when tell me that "these are the best years of your life," because frankly I felt like crap. It's all about being in the right frame of mind. It's easy to feel like you're wasting time.

There's nothing anyone can say to magically make you feel better, but a little bit of advice doesn't hurt.

When you think about it, you're still 16, you don't NEED to have a "point." Your point is simply to be alive. Try to enjoy yourself, but realize that life isn't always smooth sailing. The bad things in life suck, but there's always an opportunity to learn or grow.

Which brings me to your relationship problem. I wont say that yould should break it off, that's your decision, but you need to evalutate the situation.
Relationships (especially your first ones) are all about learning and growing. My first real relationship lasted maybe 6 months and by the end I just wanted OUT. The person didn't care for me any more and there was no longer any joy- so why belabor the issue? When I finally broke it off it was interesting. Breaking up isn't fun, but I found it funny to see how much I had changed and grown in the process, and even though the last while sucked, I can't say I wish it hadn't happened.

Sometimes in the process of growing, people grow in different directions and grow apart. If your relationship is just arguing you can do a few things. If there's some underlying issue that needs to be resolved, then find out and resolve it. And then there's breaking up. At your age, nobody (seriously) expects to you to be with your first lady-friend for the rest of your life. Have a good time, learn, live, and if things don't work out, then life will go on.

You can't always be having a blast, especially not in your teenage years. Different people will deal with it in different ways; some will turn to drugs or drinking, others sex, others yet will do the whole self destructive behaviour thing, the list goes on. I myself just say at home and felt bad for myself.

But that's FINE, that's part of LIFE. You have every right to just sit down, feel bad for yourself, take a break, whatever.

I feel sort of like I'm rambling here... But the point is that life isn't always great, but that's an inherent PART of life, and a useful one at that. When you can, learn from things. Sometimes you just have a crap day and can't learn jack from it, but that's OK to. There'll always be a tomorrow, always new opportunities. Accept that it's OK to not know exactly what you're about- hell, if you can tell up from down then you're ahead of the game.

I'll be keeping an eye on this topic... Feel free to PM me if you like, though. :ramble ramble ramble:

 

[CopcarFC]

^^That post deserves an applaud^^

Good job

 

[Clint]

Your 16. You'r not in love, you never were. You thought you were. it's ok. Part of being a teenager is being stupid! Spend your cash on whatever you want! Don't buy pot with it because using drugs when you feel down is how dependence starts. Both of you are raging with hormones so fighting and borderline bi-polarism is totally normal. Not knowing what you'r doing and being scared and confused is what puberty is about.

I spent the first two years of highschool on high doses of prozac for an "illness" I lied about just to cover my own butt, and now that the cat's out of the bag all that was pointless and my rents don't know that I lied so they think i'm suicidal. I missed out and wasted it, not you. I missed out on the normal teenage emotions because I was always numb and neutral. I'm coming off prozac and already I'm experiencing emotions like I've never felt it years. I forgot what they felt like. You'r normal and what you'r feeling is normal.

 

[endparenthesis]

Be careful about the word "love"... a lot of lies about love are perpetuated constantly, and a lot of very unhealthy feelings are very good at pretending to be love. Calling things that aren't love "love" is unbelievably confusing to the psyche.

So I might just take a good hard look there... to see if the experience genuinely matches up with the label. It seems that more often than not, it doesn't.

There's that saying I heard somewhere... "being in love is like being on fire"... meaning you never have to ask whether you're in love or not when you are. So when I see people asking, I tend to think on those grounds alone that the odds aren't too good.

Also, listen to your friends. I hate to say it, but it's uncanny how often they're right about whether someone is wrong for you even if you're head over heels for the person. Or even just picture all the times you were right about a couple you knew, and they thought you were full of it at the time.

Or I could be way off. Who knows. Hope it's worth something.

 

[Dyflam]

Throughout life there will be hard times. I can remember as a teenager thinking EVERYONE was against me. That turned out to be BS I conjured up in my mind.

Now I'm 51 and going through another rough time... friend with cancer, another in deep depression, financially strapped...

The point is things always seem to get better if you just grind through the bad times. It's a cyclic thing, this won't be the last time you go through bad times. It just gets different. If you need some moral support look to family and friends and us.

 

[scottychaos]

dont know if this will help or not..probably not.

but by the time you get to college, you will look back on your highschool years and think "man..those years meant NOTHING..I cant believe I was so worked up over so much meaninglessness.."

IMO, the only thing highschool is good for is getting decent enough grades so you can go on to college.
for me, my highschool years meant nothing..all the social BS of highschool was just that..nothing more..and today my highschool years mean nothing to me..I barely remember them.

REAL life began in college..real friends, real relationships.
I graduated from college 15 years ago, and im still in touch with about 10 college friends..and we all still get together in our college town every few years.

conversely, my 20th highschool renunion is coming up next year..
I dont have the slightest interest in going.
I didnt go to my 5th or 10th renunion either..
those people mean nothing to me.

so..my point is..college is a billion times better than highschool.
if you can just hold on and get through the BS HS years, real life begins in College.

Scot

 

[nepenthes_ak]

OK, thanks for the responces, i just feel really confused still. I was more stressed out with school, and other things than any thing, wich kinda made me post that.

But thanks for the responce's

 

[nepenthes_ak]

Oop's double post