Tanya(flytrapgurl) has a message for you all

[FlytrapGurl]

I agree with Aliciae.

And this isn't just my teenage opinion you're hearing when I vent about my grandparents... my 35-year-old mom will tell you EXACTLY everything I tell you about my grandparents. She was raised by them too.

 

[Starman]

Quote[/b] (superimposedhope @ April 10 2005,1:16)]I still have to disagree with Alpha.
I will reinterate my statement from page whatever. A child is no-one to demand ANYTHING from me. Not explanations, reasons, nothing. Obviously telling you what you did wrong is needed for a child to learn, but if I say don't do blah, blah, blah......then I expect you to listen because I said so. It does not breed mindless children, it breeds children who understand that you do not expect anything of superiors. As I said before NOBODY is goin to explain them selves because you "feel" it is your right to know. Not your boss, not a stranger, not a cop, NO-ONE! One day when you are the superior then you may make decisions that are not up to others to argue or demand explanations of. It is the way it is. Whether or not the new generation all feel this way makes no difference, the superiors will always make decisions and demand that you obey and do it in a timely and efficient manner. It is all a life lesson from day one about what your place in the world is.

Joe

You treat me, Tanya and all the other kids on here like we are clueless idiots who know nothing about life and how important it is to do at school.
You ignore absolutely everything we say, and what all other kids on here say.
And Im not stupid, I KNOW there are times when I HAVE to take orders, but most of those times come at work.

 

[TheAlphaWolf]

Quote[/b] ]I KNOW there are times when I HAVE to take orders, but most of those times come at work.

We're not the ones who can't tell the difference between parenting and jobs. Apparently it's you (no, not you dino).

and finch, I was talking about punishing kids not that...
although I would have liked my parents to be honest and not make up stupid stories. I HATE white lies. Either tell me the truth or tell me you're unconfortable telling me what goes on or something. DON"T make up stupid lies. I take white lies as a personal offense.
and about pot... yes you should tell kids why they shouldn't smoke pot. bad example.

 

[Finch]

No duh any responsible parent should do that. i was talking about someone who already knew and the parent knew they knew but they wer erjust being difficuly. Seehs

 

[TheAlphaWolf]

well then the kids are the stupid ones... which is a completely different matter.

 

[Finch]

who are you to say what are the relevent matters in this discussion anyway? Mayby i felt they were relevent and thats why i used ut as a example of a time in witch the things you beleive parents should "always" do would be a bad idea.

 

[TheAlphaWolf]

yeah but I was talking about parents punishing kids... since the thread is about parents punishing kids and should kids have to blindly obay orders no matter how stupid and wrong or not.

 

[superimposedhope]

Starman......buddy,
I see you're calling me out ................. and you're right and you're wrong at the same time. I don't respect a kid who enforces anything upon a parent however, it's the parent's fault for not enforcing their own authority in the first place. I DO respect AW's knowledge and passion for science and FTG's individuality. Respecting their abilities and passions are a seperate matter however. I don't agree with AW's stance on parenting but I truely think and am quite sure that it will change as he becomes an adult. Whatever though, I am not here to tell anyone that their parents suck or anything similar. I demand respect from my children and they do respect me and that is the way it will be from me. I came from the roughest of neighborhoods and I know what life is and what is to come and I do my darnedest to teach preparation for the future. AW of all people should know the science and nature of life. I do not pick my battles I am a full time parent, prepared to battle every battle head on and am also prepared for the fact that my children will not always beleive what their old man has to say. They will stick the metaphorical fork in the socket and it will shock them but it will not be a shock. Cause I already told them what will happen. I am sayin goddbye to this topic. On a last note: I am trying to help you guys out, since it is not doing anything but causing discontent toward myself I am goin to drop it and............well, you'll see on another day in another year.

Goodbye
$uper!mposedhop3

 

[aprilh]

Quote[/b] (superimposedhope @ April 10 2005,1:16)]I still have to disagree with Alpha.
I will reinterate my statement from page whatever. A child is no-one to demand ANYTHING from me. Not explanations, reasons, nothing. Obviously telling you what you did wrong is needed for a child to learn, but if I say don't do blah, blah, blah......then I expect you to listen because I said so. It does not breed mindless children, it breeds children who understand that you do not expect anything of superiors. As I said before NOBODY is goin to explain them selves because you "feel" it is your right to know. Not your boss, not a stranger, not a cop, NO-ONE! One day when you are the superior then you may make decisions that are not up to others to argue or demand explanations of. It is the way it is. Whether or not the new generation all feel this way makes no difference, the superiors will always make decisions and demand that you obey and do it in a timely and efficient manner. It is all a life lesson from day one about what your place in the world is.

Joe

Wow, it's the "conform or die" school of parenting and work ethic! I don't now and never, ever did need anyone to decide what MY "place" in the world is.  My place in the world is exactly what *I* want it to be. It's not up to my parents, siblings, friends. Period.

Why, if your parents beat you physically or mentally..it's okay!  You're "only" a child, and surely the beat down will instill in you...great things, and you must have deserved it! If you're an employee...you MUST put up with whatever BS the boss decides you deserve!  Bow down and be a good little sheep.  

My parents were WRONG about a lot of things.  I knew they were WRONG about some things when I was 15, and they're still WRONG now that I'm almost 46 years old.  Just spent a week with them.  My dad still thinks there weren't any good "negro" pitchers in baseball. Negroes can't pitch. And that's a minor example.  

So who has the problem?  

I obeyed their ridiculous old school rules and values(few of which were good) and kept my nose in a book until I was legally old enough to leave home, which I did, gladly. And it was my choice to leave, too. I was out of that house when I was 18. I didn't trouble them, I was a quiet kid. Sometimes parents are WRONG.  

April

 

[alicia2807]

Superimposedhope...
You're not really getting it, are you?

Quote[/b] ]I don't respect a kid who enforces anything upon a parent

It's not about enforcing things on parents, cuz if it was mine would've pulled the authority card on me a long time ago... It's about asking their reasons when they punish you or give you an order. It's not in the human condition to follow all orders from their superiors around blindly, without ever knowing why... that's slavery. Let me tell you something, I have overprotective parents, my mom is a fan of old school etiquette and behavior, and they have taught me how to respect not only my superiors but eveyone else around me... but they have also taught me that I too deserve respect from others, and to me that means people should respect my choices and opinions without imposing theirs on me.

Quote[/b] ]I demand respect from my children and they do respect me and that is the way it will be from me.

I respect my parents because that's what they taught me to do, and even more for the way they brought me up... they don't need to demand my respect, they earned it.

That's all.
Aliciae

 

[herenorthere]

Sometimes the answer to "Why?" is "Because I said so." And that's it.

 

[Spikeanator]

Quote[/b] (TheAlphaWolf @ April 09 2005,7:34)]Parents SHOULD always tell their kids why they tell them to do something. They should be honest too. There is nothing I hate more than lies (white lies are lies too...). They should always tell us why because otherwise we don't learn from our mistakes. We just do things to avoid punishment and the moment that you take away that punishment (since they don't know WHY they're not supposed to do what they're doing or why they're punishing them) they just turn around and do whatever it is they were doing. If my mom tells me why, I won't do it (if it's a good reason... getting dicipline just for the sake of dicipline is retarded). If she doesn't tell me why, I'll keep doing it whenever I can because I don't understand why i'm not supposed to do it.

Parents just demanding blind trust and mute kids who can't think for themselves just create ignorant kids.

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that say teens who used to be very diciplined and stuff turn out bad? for example I took construction tech. one year. The guys who smoked and were all the "bad crowd" said (I don't know how but the subject of how they were diciplined came up ) that when they were little their parents were like those that demanded blind followers.
now... most of the time I am well behaved and stuff, but if I'm going to be punished I deserve to know why.

about that first sentence... parents shouldnt always tell thier kids why they tell them to do something. if they say take out the trash ther isnt a reason to ask "why" bc it is abvious that the trash needs tooken out. or other things like that like washing the dishes etc

but parents DO defentatly need to be more under standing about things. for things like homework and drugs and the such parents really dont know what its like, i took algebra 1 in 8th grade and my parents didnt even EVER take algebra so i am defenatly doing more then they did in school. and yet i am getting better grades then ether of them ever did but u know what,, they still say i need to have better grades when i have straight a's besides one b. and i will also bet that we get more homwwork in a day then our parents got in a week
and drugs etc many on the main drugs these days werent here when my parents grew up.

sure ok our parents had it hard but so did they..and they didnt like they way their parents treated them, so dont treat us like they treated u.

my dad always says how he had to work so much more than i do, but ya know what, he probibly did but i am trying to study so i dont have to stay on a farm the rest on my life like he did.

well i could go on and on but lets jsut say that youngens and older people need to listen to EACH OTHER more the world would be so much better if we would listen to each other.

thanks


Brad

 

[VeiledFighter]

Sometimes asking why about a simple task is just meaningless. Just get er done. Sometimes parents tell you to do certain things just so you grow to be mature nice young adult. Yes, there are those parents which are bad but most are good hearted parents.

 

[superimposedhope]

 

[trainspotting]

I dont know, us kids. I'm not saying we're stupid, but I dont think we have the whole picture. They were kids once too, they got both sides of the story. Sometimes (I'm not saying this is the case here) kids act like this just because they're lazy and want to cover it up by pretending its got anything to do with principles(ive done it too haha). lets try not to sit to high on our horses, in 20 years I think we're gonna look back like the geezers here and say roughly the same stuff. I think i kinda agree with the geezers now anyways, I'm all for rebeling, but messing with schools not the best way; go get caught smoking pot, there's some harmless rebelion in my book. my two(2) cents

Oh and I dont want to insult anyone, I'm notorious for being lazy, homework is my kryptonite.

 

[FlytrapGurl]

This isn't about asking reasons for small tasks. My life is not "Why do I have to take out the trash?" It is "Why do you tell me to f*** off every time I disagree with you?"

This is not a normal disfunctional house, okay, people? Don't EVEN tell me about what my grandparent's intentions are, because you don't know them. You weren't there the hundreds of times I got told to "go f***" myself because I disagreed with something my grandparents said and how many times I've been shot down and disrespected beyong all rational reason. As several people here have said, BOTH need to listen to EACH OTHER, not just the kid to the adult. I do not have to conform to everything my grandparents demand and I do not have to give them blind, unquestioning respect. They will not ever get my respect by utterly disrespecting me as a person and looking down their noses at me and demanding reverence. As with everyone else around me, they need to earn my respect. I WOULD respect them if they had gone about getting it the right way instead of treating me as an inferior who is completely and utterly stupid, inexperienced and unworthy of any respect as a person or room to breathe whatsoever. I have a right to disagree. I have a right to live my own life. I have a right to decide who I am and where I'm going in the world and what my attitude, thoughts, actions and beliefs are. They do not have a right to put me on their perpetual s*** list just because I don't conform to what they want me to wear, what expression they want branded into my face, how they want me to walk, how they want me to talk, how they want me to think, how they want me to act, or what they want me to believe. They really do not have the ability to accept someone for who they are. And it's not just me they treat like this. They look down on and discriminate against everybody in the world that aren't exactly like them, and I'm just another ***hole who is going to fail in the world because I'm not submissive and lady-like about everything and I don't care what anyone thinks and I don't change myself just to please other people. Like I said before, if you think it's just my inexperienced average teenage opinion speaking, ask my mom, who is 35. She knows these things and will tell you everything I say about them. We talked about it once and we both agree with each other about my grandparents.

 

[Spikeanator]

sry but since i dont know i must ask...y dont u live wit ur mom.

ur grandparents sound alot like my parents.

thanks


Brad

 

[FlytrapGurl]

Feel free to ask, everyone else does (not intending for that to sound sarcastic, but they really do). Well, my mom had me at 21, unmarried, my dad left when I was 6 months old, never knew him, Mom had little money, so we moved in with my grandparents, and since this whole gene pool doesn't get along, she moved out when I was about 4, and since she didn't have alot of money (still doesn't), I stayed with my grandparents, and that's how it's been my whole life. Mom lives a few miles from here and I go over there when I can. Unlike my grandparents, she accepts me for who I am and she's glad I'm not the Barbie-doll princess type.

 

[aprilh]

Jeez, Tanya..any chance you could move in with your mom?

I think parents should never tell their kids to *F* off. God, that's horrid. And it's certainly not providing any kind of role model for "proper, lady-like" behaviour, either. The only thing I can say is...try to fly below the radar, if you're not already. But it might be tough, they sound kind of aggro. Girl, brand a fake smile on your face every time you're near them. That's what I do at work, all day every day, LOL! You gotta do what you gotta do. April

 

[FlytrapGurl]

Move in with Mom? Yeah right. I wish. I mean, her almost-brokeness isn't really the issue, because I CAN live with little, but for some reason my grandparents say they trust my judgement completely, and yet they won't let me move in with her because they think just because she smokes and does pot (not all the time, it's not like she's high all the time or anything), that means I'm gonna do it, just because she does, which is totally false, because I KNOW she does that, because I'm there alot of the times (she knows I have better judgement than she did and she knows I'm never gonna do it), and I have better judgement and just because people around me smoke pot doesn't mean I'm gonna ever do it. And for some reason they think I just couldn't handle living with her because it's not the high life. Oh, PLEASE, that is so WEAK. They think I'm made of porcelain.

Quote[/b] ]I think parents should never tell their kids to *F* off.  God, that's horrid.  And it's certainly not providing any kind of role model for "proper, lady-like" behaviour, either.

They would say "Well that's different" to that, because that's what they say every time they find themselves losing an argument.

Quote[/b] ]The only thing I can say is...try to fly below the radar, if you're not already. But it might be tough, they sound kind of aggro. Girl, brand a fake smile on your face every time you're near them.

Well, that's just not like me. Doing that would be giving in and changing to please them.

I don't really feel the need to avoid getting b****ed at, because it happens every day and now it's basically routine. It doesn't bother me, it just causes violent, rageful outbursts occasionally, which is why I have taken up punching my bedroom wall many times. The far right knuckle on my right hand is already way flatter than the same knuckle on the left hand.