Support for cp'er

[ValerieDawn]

Well, I'll try this again. My last post (& my first here! got swallowed up into the void. I am looking for suggestions on how to show support to my significant other who is quite into carnivorous plants. I want to seem interested & have been learning some & they really are fascinating but my enthusiasm just doesn't match. Any ideas for me?

 

[NickHubbell]

Perhaps a great book on Carnivorous Plants, or two

Well, thats what my SO got me

 

[D muscipula]

Fran, that's an awesome attitude.  For me, someone who is willing to look at my new/blooming/growing plant and listen to me blab about it while being (or at least trying to be) interested is about the most i could ask for.

Of course, the books are always a good idea, too.

You might find some aspect of CPs that interests you more than him, and have a bit of a different experience with it to share.  For example, utricularia (bladderworts) often have very lovely flowers, and species like livida and sandersonii flower often and grow easily on a kitchen window or such.  You might get into utrics.

Good luck

 

[neprick]

Hey Fran,
I am married to someone who does not share the same enthusiam as I for carnivorous plants. I just continue to move forward with my collection but it is difficult sometimes. When I give a presentation, she is there in support, but you can tell she isn't into the bug thing much. Sometimes we just find different interests and listening is sometimes to the constant chatter when a present arrives at the door, or a new plant is added to the collection. I know how difficult it is to not have the support and wish I did. The fact you came to the forum and ask about supporting your significant other, means maybe a small interest, huh?

You don't need to do flip-flops or chatter constantly about the plants. There are many closet enthusists that sometimes you have to poke them, just to see if they are still alive! We just share a common interest and enjoy growing a different kind of plant. I hope this is helpfull. Feel free to email me anytime.

 

[BigCarnivourKid]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Fran @ June 20 2003,10:O1)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">I want to seem interested & have been learning some & they really are fascinating but my enthusiasm just doesn't match.  Any ideas for me?[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>

Fran,
First relax, don't try to appear more interested in the plants than you really are.  It will only make one or both of you uncomfortable and could lead to stress down the road.  That you find them fascinating is helpful.  That you have made the effort to learn something about them says a lot about your love for your SO.  THAT is the important part.  You two are seperate people and are bound to have (and need to have) different interests.  It is in our differences that we establish our individuality.  Our identity as a person.  Without them we would be pretty much a cookie cutter copy of each other.  BORRRRRRRING!

It is through our common interests that we strengthen our bonds to each other.  It is for this reason that the interest one shows must be sincere, else it can turn upon us and destroy that which we sought to strengthen.

Now as for the common interest in CP's.  What is there not to like, other than that they can be messy eaters and leave bits of their food laying around for all to see?

There are:

Heliamphoras.  A plant of contridictions.  Trite as that may sound.  One moment plain and uninspiring and in the next exotic and almost alien.  It appears at first glance, to be nothing more than a rolled leaf filled with water.  However, on closer inspection, the eye discovers the strange looking leaf tip shaped like a small peaked cap held over the water trapped in the leaves.  Or the veins tracing intricate patterns on the surface of the leaves.

Sarracenias have the most unigue flowers in both form and color (IMO).  Their pitchers come in such a variety of shapes and colors, they have to be seen to be fully enjoyed.

Utricualria may be the plainest looking plants...until they flower, which they often do in profusion.  There are flowers of dazzling colors and cute shapes (bunny rabbit faces! ).

Sundews, they truely are the jewels of the plant world!  I have a D. filiformis which I bought on sale and as a 'lark' as they used to say. I really didn't want one, figuring the long, narrow, straight leaves would be uninteresting.  It is now one of my favorites.  It has never failed to form dew and is always asparkle.  It rarely fails to cheer me up

.  And the flowers are the most delicate pink/purple.  Beautiful!

Venus Flytraps.  The plant that is responsible for so many of us discovering the existance of all the other remarkable carnivorous plants.  While there is only one specie of this plant, there are so many variations in form, color, size, and shape that to catalog them all may be nigh on to impossible.

Butterworts...Pinguicula...Pings.  How such a small plant could produce such interesting leaves and flowers.  The symetry and color of the leaf rosettes can entrance one if not wary. Many grow pings for their flowers. Some of the showiest in the CP kingdom.

Nepenthes, they start out as such small cute plants with darling little pitchers growing from the tendrils at the tips of their leaves.  Gradually growing into massive plants with some of the most bizzar looking pitchers of any CP out there.  The diversity in shapes and colors is intrancing in itself.  As proof you may paruse the nep forum and read the posts put up by those who have been mesmerized by this plant.

And if all this were not enough, they are contrary.  What one person complains of as a weed that is growing every where, another is bemoaning not being able to grow at all.  Yet both people describe the same growing conditions.


I have just finished proofreading this. I didn't realize I had gone on so long trying to say, that while you both may not be interested in carnivorous plants for the same reason there is enough variety in them for you both to find something to enjoy.

 

[ValerieDawn]

Wow! thanks everyone. Esp. Steve - what a dissertation! It gives me a lot of insight into this part of the world & evryone's enthusiasm about it. I was trying to be careful not to give away my gender so as not to influence responses - some just assumed I am a woman talking about my man. I don't think that makes any difference. I really am awed by the plants. I don't think I have a favourite yet. I can see the different beauties in each. Would still like to hear some more ideas.

 

[Tamlin Dawnstar]

Hi Fran and Welcome to the Forums!

I have to agree with what D muscipula had to say. One of the most exciting things for a grower is to get new plants, and when we do, we just go off. I'm sure you have experienced this already. We just HAVE to tell someone. The fact that you are There to share the joy of the moment is quite a nice thing in and of itself.

Also, a kind attitude towards the plants sitting on the window ledges, the mess on the kitchen table, and the time spent on the PFT Forum when he should be doing important things like mowing the lawn will speak volumes about your love. This is the best support you, or anyone, can give.

Also, giving the guy a Green Dragon or a cool Nepenthes is equivalent to you getting a dozen long stem red roses. He'll probably blat and fall into your arms in a swoon! PFT can help you with that with the excellent quality plants sold here.

I also support the idea of you getting into a different branch of CP than your S.O. That way you can share your interest with him. Maybe you aren't all that passionate now, but these plants have a way of getting under your skin, and you might be surprised to discover what starts out as a mild interest may turn into a lifelong passion: much like your relationship with your S.O.

Relax and have fun. You obviously have a strong love for him, and this alone will carry the day I think. When people care enough to go this far, things usually are great. When this type of caring stops is when the problems start.

Any questions, please feel free to PM me!

 

[Tamlin Dawnstar]

Fran,

My apologies for the gender goof! I got the same thing when I came here, everyone thought Tamlin was female. The good advice still applies though.

 

[BigCarnivourKid]

Thank you Fran. I was a bit touched by the Muse though

.

 

[Kate]

Hi Fran, welcome to the forums

I think in this case a quote from my S.O. might help...

"I don't understand her obsession, and I don't really have to. All I have to do is make sure she has everything she needs, buy her the occasional plant, and listen when she asks me to. I get the best of both worlds, I get to enjoy really pretty plants without having to work at them, and she gets to play with her 'babies' and have me there to say 'Nice plant hon, you've done a great job'. We both end up happy."

 

[ValerieDawn]

Thank you, all, for your kind responses. I have been cruising around & reading a lot here & it seems to me just doing that is getting me more excited about the whole thing. Seems the excitement has a way of being contagious through the printed word. I didn't mean to be so mysterious about my gender, just didn't want to influence responses. And I will be coming out about that shortly, anyway.
Would still like to hear more ideas for supporting my cp'er!

 

[Dave S.]

Fran,

I think it is very considerate of you to post such a topic. I wish my wife would even just pretend to have some interest in cps.


I would ask questions like "Why do you find cps so interesting?" and "What is your favorite cp and why?"

When you hear the explanation, you might end up with the same view.

 

[FlytrapGurl]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Fran @ June 21 2003,06:01)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Well, I'll try this again.  My last post (& my first here! got swallowed up into the void.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
This forum belongs to Earth. There are no voids.

Your post is probably somewhere in page 2. When a post is pushed down to the bottom, it goes to the second page. When it is pushed to the bottom of the second page, it goes to the third page, and so on. I can't believe Tamlin didn't point that out

 

[greenhouse1]

And one more thing Fran...part of the enchantment of carnivorous plants is the wonderful people you "meet" in places like this forum. They are supportive of one another and their enthusiasm is contagious. You are indeed special to ask how you can be supportive of your other half's hobby!
Welcome to the Exotic Gardens/Petflytrap Forums

We're here for you! And if you want to learn about these strange plants you have indeed come to the right place.

And BCK...what wonderful descriptions of the plants!

 

[Spectabilis73]

7--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (BigCarnivourKid @ June 21 2003,12

7)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">

I want to seem interested & have been learning some & they really are fascinating but my enthusiasm just doesn't match.  Any ideas for me?

<span id='postcolor'>

Fran,
First relax, don't try to appear more interested in the plants than you really are.  It will only make one or both of you uncomfortable and could lead to stress down the road.  That you find them fascinating is helpful.  That you have made the effort to learn something about them says a lot about your love for your SO.  THAT is the important part.  You two are seperate people and are bound to have (and need to have) different interests.  It is in our differences that we establish our individuality.  Our identity as a person.  Without them we would be pretty much a cookie cutter copy of each other.  BORRRRRRRING!

It is through our common interests that we strengthen our bonds to each other.  It is for this reason that the interest one shows must be sincere, else it can turn upon us and destroy that which we sought to strengthen.

Now as for the common interest in CP's.  What is there not to like, other than that they can be messy eaters and leave bits of their food laying around for all to see?

There are:

Heliamphoras.  A plant of contridictions.  Trite as that may sound.  One moment plain and uninspiring and in the next exotic and almost alien.  It appears at first glance, to be nothing more than a rolled leaf filled with water.  However, on closer inspection, the eye discovers the strange looking leaf tip shaped like a small peaked cap held over the water trapped in the leaves.  Or the veins tracing intricate patterns on the surface of the leaves.

Sarracenias have the most unigue flowers in both form and color (IMO).  Their pitchers come in such a variety of shapes and colors, they have to be seen to be fully enjoyed.

Utricualria may be the plainest looking plants...until they flower, which they often do in profusion.  There are flowers of dazzling colors and cute shapes (bunny rabbit faces! ).

Sundews, they truely are the jewels of the plant world!  I have a D. filiformis which I bought on sale and as a 'lark' as they used to say. I really didn't want one, figuring the long, narrow, straight leaves would be uninteresting.  It is now one of my favorites.  It has never failed to form dew and is always asparkle.  It rarely fails to cheer me up

.  And the flowers are the most delicate pink/purple.  Beautiful!

Venus Flytraps.  The plant that is responsible for so many of us discovering the existance of all the other remarkable carnivorous plants.  While there is only one specie of this plant, there are so many variations in form, color, size, and shape that to catalog them all may be nigh on to impossible.

Butterworts...Pinguicula...Pings.  How such a small plant could produce such interesting leaves and flowers.  The symetry and color of the leaf rosettes can entrance one if not wary.  Many grow pings for their flowers.  Some of the showiest in the CP kingdom.

Nepenthes, they start out as such small cute plants with darling little pitchers growing from the tendrils at the tips of their leaves.  Gradually growing into massive plants with some of the most bizzar looking pitchers of any CP out there.  The diversity in shapes and colors is intrancing in itself.  As proof you may paruse the nep forum and read the posts put up by those who have been mesmerized by this plant.

And if all this were not enough, they are contrary.  What one person complains of as a weed that is growing every where, another is bemoaning not being able to grow at all.  Yet both people describe the same growing conditions.


I have just finished proofreading this. I didn't realize I had gone on so long trying to say, that while you both may not be interested in carnivorous plants for the same reason there is enough variety in them for you both to find something to enjoy.[/quote]
Just wanted to add on toy our carnivorous plant list
Sarracenia (North American Pitcher Plants)
Darlingtonia (Cobra lLilys)
Nepenthes (Tropical Pitcher Plants)
Heliamphora (MArsh Pitcher Plants)
Cephalotus (Albany Pitcher Plants)
Drosera (Sundews)
Drosophyllum (Dewy Pines)
Utricularia (Bladderworts)
Pinguicula (Butterwort)
Glenisea (forgot the common name lol)
Aldrovanda (Waterwheel Plant)
Bromeliads (some species)
Tillandsia (Air Plants, some think they are semi-carnivorus)
Ibleca Lutea (Devils Claws)
----------- (Shepards Purse, forgot Latin name)
There are several others I think

 

[Guest]

I'd rather receive a CP than a dozen roses anyday! *laughter* I always tell guys if they're bent on giving me flowers then they'd better be sure they still have the roots attached.

But seriously, I think the most important thing is just listening and asking questions and being interested. If you're not so much interested in CP's.. then being interested in why your partner is. Here in Alaska I'm kind of isolated and I know that personaly I would give anything just to have someone to talk to about these plants.  

As for how to show support besides just listening and being interested.. Hmm.. if I had a friend that was into CP's and I wasn't.. I think I would
- do some research and find out what growing medium they used, then buy a bag of it and surprise them. I mean, honestly, how many of us here wouldn't be thrilled with a bag of sphagnum? It's an excuse to get more plants!

- once again, research and find a place within driving distance that has native CP's and surprise them with a weekend road trip to see them
- buy them a gift certificate to a CP nursery or growing supply store for holidays.. and then, if it's local, offer to go with them to spend it.
Sometimes people just enjoy the company. I'd be thrilled just to have someone to go do these things with who didn't gripe the whole time. I mean, it's not unusual for me to end up waist deep in muck trying to search for a Utric in handfulls of green slime.. and if I hear my sister say "Ewwww! do you know what ducks do in that water??  or You're not getting back into my car like that!" one more time.. I'm gonna scream

Come on guys.. what would you want your friend or partner to do to show interest in you and your addiction,uh, I mean hobby?
More people should post here so we could all print it out and "accidently" leave it lying around for people to find

 

[hamata]

I think caring for a CP (or 2 or 3...) yourself will be all you need. That is what starts most people with the CP "insanity".
Personoly I would recomend a Nepenthes, but all the other ones are gteat too.

Regards, Hamata

 

[ValerieDawn]

Actually, flytapgirl, I was notified by the administrator that my original post somehow was 'corrupted'  

 & to please some back & post again.  Which I did.