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jimscott

Tropical Fish Enthusiast
Joined
Nov 14, 2003
Messages
18,811
Location
Western New York
Sent by a forum friend:


Southern FOLKS know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern FOLKS know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The creek
Southern WOMEN know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern WOMEN know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern FOLKS know their religions:


Baptist, Methodist,Catholic, & Football
Southern FOLKS know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn, S'vanah, Foat Wuth, N'awlins, Addlanna
Southern WOMEN know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform!!!
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beach

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them,
you "PITCH" them.


Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long"directly" is, as in:
"Going to town, be back directly."
("Dreckly" in my family)

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.
If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
"a right fer piece." They also know that"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, .... and when we're "in line", we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, biscuits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and"sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.
You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning, bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff.....bless your hearts, I hear they're fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.=
 

DroseraBug

Grow Pitcher Plants!
Joined
Jan 9, 2008
Messages
744
Location
Rural North Carolina
I'm eatin collards as we speak and enjoyed the above.

I was gettin gas at a convenience store nr the South Carolina border a few months back and needed a reciept from the machine but it did not dispense one. I proceeded to go into the convenience store and tell the cashier that I need a receipt and that the pump receipt dispenser was broken. She replied, "might did". I'm a southerner and it still took me a minute to understand that but I reckon she meant it was in fact broken. Thought I would share.

Also, yesterday I observed a couple of neighborhood kids wake or scurf boarding around a half acre pond tied up to a souped up riding lawn mower. That probably counts too.
 

Foxoftherose

Thread Reaper
Joined
Jun 11, 2011
Messages
107
Location
North Alabama, USA
This is true, for better or for worse :) I've lived in rural northern Alabama all of my life, and I utterly fail at being a southern lady. I'm gruff, reserved, un-feminine, somewhat liberal, and an atheist, so it's been hell growing up here. All the same, I don't ever plan on moving, since I'm very attached to the land. Hurricane Creek and Sand Mountain are both about an hour's drive from here, and Chattahoochee, Nantahala, and Chattanooga are within a day's drive.
 

Wire Man

Sphagnum Guru
Joined
Jan 22, 2011
Messages
2,990
Location
Virginia, USA
This is true, for better or for worse :) I've lived in rural northern Alabama all of my life, and I utterly fail at being a southern lady. I'm gruff, reserved, un-feminine, somewhat liberal, and an atheist, so it's been hell growing up here. All the same, I don't ever plan on moving, since I'm very attached to the land. Hurricane Creek and Sand Mountain are both about an hour's drive from here, and Chattahoochee, Nantahala, and Chattanooga are within a day's drive.

At least you're close to some awesome plants.
 

jimscott

Tropical Fish Enthusiast
Joined
Nov 14, 2003
Messages
18,811
Location
Western New York
I've had the opportunity to do a lot of traveling when I workd for an environmental company. a large part of that was taking water and soil samples along the Tennessee Gas Line Company. We were all over the South, mainly in the rural areas. I had a challenging time understanding the accent of the locals. I also had to get used to phrases like, "sweetened and unsweetened tea" & "sure do and sure don't". I also got told, "You aint from around here, aren't you?"
 

Baylorguy

"Oh, now he's a philosophizer"
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
942
Location
Helotes, Texas
I an definitely relate to a lot of that. I too had to get used to everything, but now that I've lived in Texas for so long, I am one of THEM!
 

thez_yo

instigator
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
5,509
Location
Virginia, USA
I have the pleasure of working with some folks from Charleston at work, and get sent there every now and then. It's just downright wonderful :)
 
Joined
Jan 5, 2005
Messages
3,252
Location
New Jersey, USA
I had a challenging time understanding the accent of the locals.
My first day on my new job in Houma, LA (60 miles southwest of New Orleans), just after graduating college in 1980, I had a meeting with the base manager. This meeting ended with him kicking me out of his office because I couldn't understand 3/4 of what he was saying. When I left his office, I really didn't know if he had also fired me. I did know that he was cursing at me, yankees in general and the idiots that kept hiring yankees and sending them to his base.

Years later (after I had earned my way), he would stroll up to me (typically with his entourage) at company social functions and retell the story of our 1st meeting. Depending on how many drinks he had, he could really make it interesting - he had people laughing so hard they almost fell down...
 

jimscott

Tropical Fish Enthusiast
Joined
Nov 14, 2003
Messages
18,811
Location
Western New York
Thanks for sharing, Ron. My wife and I took jobs in rural Kentucky right after we got married. Sometimes we drove to Lexington. There was a significant difference between rural accent and the more cosmopolitan accent of a city.

I loved my first road trip with the company. We flew to TN, starting off in Kenton, and drove down the pipeline, through rural MS and LA, ending up in a town called Bastrop. Along the way I had my introduction to a bucket of crawdads, gumbo, and etouffe. We also stayed at a Holiday Inn where each room had sign / disclaimer about the water. Their water was amber colored and the sign said not to worry about the water. The locals have been drinking it for years, with no ill effects. Nevertheless, I drank bottled beverages...
 
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