jimscott
Tropical Fish Enthusiast
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>Dilbert Quotes....Life in 2004...
>A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking
>for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers.
>These were voted the top ten quotes from the Dilberts we work for in
>corporate America, circa 2004:
>
>1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building
>using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday,
>and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the
>winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA)
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>2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might
>encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
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>3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should
>be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat
>Company)
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>4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more
>important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United
>Parcel Service) 5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the
>schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
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>6. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
>working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let
>you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining
>and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
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>7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
>(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
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>8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When
>I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss
>work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change
>her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping
>executive, FTD Florists)
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>9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not
>going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T
>Long Lines Division)
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>10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning
>a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon
>enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until
>tomorrow to ask for it!" (Hallmark Cards executive)
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>Dilbert Quotes....Life in 2004...
>A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking
>for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers.
>These were voted the top ten quotes from the Dilberts we work for in
>corporate America, circa 2004:
>
>1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building
>using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday,
>and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the
>winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA)
>
>2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might
>encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
>
>3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should
>be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat
>Company)
>
>4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more
>important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United
>Parcel Service) 5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the
>schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
>
>6. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
>working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let
>you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining
>and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
>
>7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
>(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
>
>8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When
>I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss
>work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change
>her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping
>executive, FTD Florists)
>
>9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not
>going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T
>Long Lines Division)
>
>10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning
>a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon
>enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until
>tomorrow to ask for it!" (Hallmark Cards executive)
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